About sex

TALKING ABOUT AND INITIATING SEX
Every time you want to have an incredible sex with someone you need to be prepared and get what you want. And one of the best ways to get what you want is just to ask for it. Sometimes a back rub is just a back rub and your partner will not understand that it is a sign for sex. What to do then? Talk about it! Sometimes it happens so that you know your partner very well and you have had sex for many times and talked about it a lot, but at the time when you are ready for sex your partner just wants to go to bed and sleep. It may occur when you and your partner are not united in one sync in the sex department. But hence you talk about sex and your problems (if there are any), you will improve your sex life and get much more pleasure of it.

SEX TOPICS
You are going to have a good night and share the bed with your potential partner. But first you should share some important information with him or her. It is advisable to ask openly what you want to know and give honest answers as far as your sexual interests and sexual health and protection are concerned. It will help you both to understand each other better and become closer to each other, because you will be learning more and more about yourself and your partner. We advise you to ask the following things before you go to bed and have wonderful sex together.

What sex means you like more and how it will affect your relationship.
How often you like to have sex, and what types of sex you want to have.
How you feel about your body, and what ways you especially like to be touched.
How you feel about monogamy, cheating and if you will be faithful.
What kind of birth control you will use.
What kinds of condoms you will use for disease protection.
Whether you want to get tested for sexually transmitted diseases.
How you would handle an unintentional pregnancy.

It may seem that some of these topics are somewhat similar to the previously discussed ones. If both partners agree on the things they talking about, they may be sexually compatible. But some of these topics should be discussed also because you need to know what to expect from your partner in future and during the sex. And there are also cases, not just before the sex when you need to talk about sex things, like about sexually transmitted disease you might have, or you want to try some new kind of sex you have not had yet. Thus, you understand that to get as much pleasure as possible from sex life with your lover, you need to talk about sex as often as necessary.

HOW TO TALK ABOUT SEX
Using your mouth, you can do a lot of things which will make sex more enjoyable. And at the top of the list you find talking about sex. Here are some pointers that might make the discussions go more smoothly:

At first, start talking vaguely about sex. For example, over dinner conversation mention topics in the news that involve sexual issues. Or say something like: “I just saw an interesting story in a magazine about people who abstain from sex because they are so afraid of AIDS. What do you think of that?” Thus, you will be talking about sex and on the other hand, you will not go too personal.
Make sure it's the right time and place to talk. There are so many cases when people wait to talk till they are in the heat of passion, or they choose an inappropriate moment, when their partners are tired, in bad mood or distracted, etc. It is not good. You should talk about such things when you both are ready for this and you have enough time to discuss everything you need.
Think about what you want to say first. That way at least one of you will be prepared for the conversation.
Talk about your own feelings rather than talking about how you think your partner feels. Use “I” statements. For example, say “I feel lonely when I want to kiss you and you want to pull away.” Instead of saying, “You must be afraid of intimacy, because of the way you pull away from me when I try to kiss you.”
Be positive. Don't tell your partner, “I hate it that we make out so much, but we never go all the way.” Instead, first tell your partner about the things you like and telling this in positive way. “I love the way it feels when we make out. I think it would feel even better if we went all the way.”
Be specific, honest, and explicit. If you want to ask your lover to get tested for a sexually transmitted disease, don't beat around the bush and say, “I was wondering if you're safe.” Be direct. Say: “Even though I still want to use condoms, I think it would be a good idea if we both got tested for sexually transmitted diseases.

Will you do that?” Or if you want to tell your lover that you have orgasms more easily when you're on top, and then don't say something like, “I like to have sex in any position.” Say: “Anything is fine, but I orgasm best when I'm on top.” You should be able to talk that explicitly with your partner so that you can
get what you want out of sex.

To make sure that you understood each other in a proper way, try to paraphrase the words of your partner after he or she finished. It will help to understand everything correctly. And if you misunderstood something, you will be able to clarify it.
Ask a lot of questions if you need to discuss or negotiate a topic. It will help you resolve the real issue. Such as if your partner says your kissing could use some work, try asking, “Is there anything I can do to make it more appealing when I try to kiss you.” Or “Do you think you know why you don't like kissing me.”
Once you know what your issues are, try to talk about your options. When it comes to sexuality there are usually several ways to resolve issues. Discuss all the points and find the best solution for you both.